I started this reveiw ages ago and just never got round to finishing it. so sorry for that but I’ve been playing a shit ton of this game. Anyway my thoughts are below.
So I’ve been busy playing a little game, don’t know if you’ve heard but Call of duty Black Ops is out.
Below is my review,
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My boy Chelios has been playing Blops (I’m making it happen people) as much as he can get away with while still maintaining a stable marriage. Over the next year it may cause a couple rocky patches so he should probably invest now in some back-up dildos just to keep things sweet.
The wager matches are pimp and here he is with some pretty smooth kills in Sticks and Stones, which loads you out with a Crossbow, Ballistic Knives and a Hatchet to bankrupt your victim, separating them from their hard earned points.
What a bastard.
In the interests of whoring up some cheap hits I’m posting Black Ops content just one day before release.
So Hutch is probably the most famous if not the most successful COD player, being picked up by Machinima like some truck stop hooker only instead of receiving a bludgeoning and shallow burial they gave him a job. Thumbs up for him, and he’s a natural choice to forward a copy of Black Ops and have in what appears to be a press lobby. Here he is getting a bit of a hammering (like the truck stop hooker) but also giving back and coming out ok (unlike the lay by temptress).
The advance your weapon every time you score a kill match type.
And standard Team Deathmatch
Well there we are. I hope you weren’t expecting John Simpson quality journalism here.
Check out Chelios’ excellent complete introduction to Black Ops multiplayer HERE
This is a few days old, because we are such bleeding edge reporters. This morning I even won an award.
True that it was an award for a delicious sandwich. And I awarded it to myself.
But how many awards have you won today?
No. No I didn’t think so.
I have a conflicting relationship with COD games. It’s fair to say that they are probably top banana when it comes to online multiplayers, in terms of popularity at least. In terms of quality at most, some would argue. As a person who wants gaming to be more progressive, to be about more than headshots I dislike what they are about when you get right down to it.
Then I punch myself in the arm, tell myself to stop being such a douche and just enjoy something awesome. It’s the same part of me that loves Commando, Crank and Rambo. It’s the part of you that’s still a ten year old kid playing war with your friends. The part of you which has no idea how to take something seriously. It’s like on these bullshit “best ____ movie/TV show of _______” programmes. An arbitrary panel tries to dissect in soundbites of 15 seconds or less how these movies/TV shows worked and someone inevitably pipes up with how He-Man was gay or some shit. Some people just try looking into stuff too hard and make something out of nothing.
So not gay.
COD is kinda like that. You’ve got to just enjoy it for what it is and stop being a nonce.If you have a pretentious side like I do, give it some mescaline and send it away for a little while.
Anyway I sometimes hate loving it because I play it so damn much that I tend to exclude playing all else. I reach for another game but then boot up to find I inserted COD. It’s a snappy arcade shooter so you think you can just get by with one match. Which turns into two matches and so on.
And god help you if you give it a rest for two weeks because you’ll jump back in at whatever level you got up to, only you will get a shoeing because you’ve lost the edge. You’ll need to spend a couple of hours getting back to your previous ability, and then because you’ve re-invested that time you feel you need to commit more time to make it all worth it. Then you’re hooked again.
Such is the genius of its design. My rounds tend to vacillate between super-human triumph, and shrugging whinge about latency. More often the latter. Either way, only Demon’s Souls can match it for booting your adrenal gland into your heart at every instance. This is what makes it, roundly, the most accomplished online multiplayer made thus far.
Go HERE for the lovely Launch Trailer
Black Ops is almost upon us so I thought I’d give a run down of what we know so far. Some of this maybe wrong but I’m pretty confident I’ve got all the facts. I’ll concentrate on the multiplayer here as you pretty much know what to expect with COD single player. Globe trotting Special Forces soldiers doing the jobs no one else wants to do. Unlike previous games though Black Ops will take place across a larger time frame, we’re talking missions from the 60’s all the way up to present day.
Come down for Read more…
Activision head Bobby Kotick has strongly hinted that Call of Duty may, as the headline suggests, be going subscription based.
With the series being released anually , alternating between Modern Warfare devs Infinity Ward and the odd numbered from Treyarch, it’s unreasonable to expect the games to keep selling at the Billion dollar mark. Infinity Ward have expressed interest in doing something different and so Activision would be keen to keep the ball rolling to indemnify against loss of earning.
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